In The Dragon's Lair
by EvenSong
Summary: there's a princess who has been captured in a dragon's lair, none of the knights can save her- they can't even save themselves! Maybe she'll be rescued, and maybe she won't. R/R please! thank you


In the Dragon's Lair  
  
The squat little dragon grumpily woke from her nap. She stretched her gossamer wings and belched a great bout of shimmering flame that filled the cave. She waited until she heard a satisfying scream, then a thump as yet another "brave" knight fainted, terrified, onto her cave's floor.   
  
"Show-off!" She grumbled as the knight gallantly clambered to his feet, his singed hair still smoking.   
  
  
  
" I've come to save the princess!" the knight shouted over the clatter made by his fleeing horse. The knight faltered, "She is here, right?"  
  
  
  
The dragon sighed, her lavender sides heaving, " Yes, she is here. You are not going to win. I will huff and I will puff, and I will melt your sword too." All this was said in a listless monotone. The knight glanced down at his gold-wrought sword - and ran, making more noise than his horse had.   
  
"Knew it'd work, Lilac!" said a very matter of fact voice. "They're all so afraid of the big bad wolf. Ha!" a girl in a copper gown stepped out of the shadows.  
  
  
  
"That was a good idea of yours, Penny," the lavender dragon replied. " All they want is to rescue the poor helpless little princess and slay the evil, vile dragon who is guarding her. They have no respect for us dragons, though." Lilac gave a sigh filled with sorrow. "All they have to do is ask!"  
  
  
  
Suddenly, a clink of stones made the lavender dragon whip around. Another knight was climbing over the ledge into her cave. The knight cleared his throat and began to speak, "I, Sir Charles Maxwell Barragon the third, request permission from the lavender dragon Lilac who resides in the Windward Caves, to rescue the royal Princess Peony Primrose Daffodil Violet of the Spring Blooms royal court." Sir Charles gasped for breath at the end of his speech.   
  
  
  
"Wha…?" stuttered a dazed Lilac.   
  
  
  
"I said," Sir Charles took a breath, "I, Sir Charles Max…"  
  
  
  
" No, no, no. Did you actually ask my permission?!"   
  
  
  
"Why, yes I did. So will you grant me permission, lavender dragon Lilac who resides in the Windward Caves, to rescue the royal Princess Peony Primrose Daffodil Violet of the Spring Blooms royal court?" Sir Charles asked rather conceitedly.   
  
"Hmm. Let me think about that… NO!" replied Lilac peevishly.   
  
  
  
"Oh," Sir Charles stuttered, "I forgot something, please?"  
  
  
  
Penny strode out from where she had hidden behind Lilac, "Why do all you knights want to rescue me? I'm perfectly happy as I am!" Sir Charles opened his mouth to speak but Penny spoke first, "did my betrothed send you to rescue his poor wittle Pwincess Peony?"  
  
  
  
"Why, yes he did! How did you know? Those were his royal Prince's exact words!" Sir Charles said, wide-eyed with wonder. "You must be magical!!! So, can I rescue you now?"  
  
  
  
"No, I'm not magical, but about ten-thousand other knights came to rescue me, and if they got through my good friend Lilac," Penny stopped to pat the lavender dragon's shoulder, "they would give that exact speech. So shoo, and run along home and say you never found me, all right? Good!" Stupidly, Sir Charles walked away, with a dazed look on his face. When he got to the edge of the cave, he almost fell off it, but his noble white steed caught him.   
  
Suddenly, as if awakening from a trance, Sir Charles leapt off his horse and gallantly intoned, "I will not rest until I have rescued you my dear Princess! You shall be held captive in this dragon's lair no longer! Now, I shall fly like the wind, but do not fear, my lady Princess! For I shall return to rescue you!" and with that, Sir Charles spurred his horse to a gallop and rode off in to the hot afternoon sun.   
  
"They're all alike, Penny! All they want is GLORY! FAME! And don't forget HONOR! What has this world come to?" Lilac scoffed. Penny just rolled her eyes.  
  
***  
  
The fat and very lethargic monarch sat as if draped over his chair; blubber bulging out in a number of places from his voluminous robes. Before him sat a knight who had another story to tell about his betrothed, Princess Peony. The knight was Sir Charles, and he had returned from the dragon's lair with a glowing report of what he had seen and heard; by far it was the most extensive yet. The Princess truly was in the cave, and according to Sir Charles, along with a giant purple dragon.   
  
"It was horrible, your Royal Highness! The dragon flamed and flamed, but somehow I got through! Strangely enough, the Princess seemed to like it there! She refused to come with me. So I was forced to ride back to you and tell you all about it…"   
  
"What?!" roared Caspian the eighth. "What do you mean she liked it there?! This cannot be so! I must ride there and see for myself!" Everyone who was in the audience chamber gasped, someone (one of the silly maidens) even fainted with a muffled scream. No one had ever seen the monarch move from his plush throne in the audience chamber, no one knew if he even knew how to ride a horse, let alone fight! The castle floor shook as Caspian heaved himself to his feet, the walls shook when he bellowed, "Back to your duties, you slackers!" In his next breath he continued to issue commands, " You there, boy! Saddle me a horse! Now!" A picture fell off the wall. Chaos continued for the next few days as the fat Caspian and an entourage readied for travel.  
  
***  
  
Penny looked up from her gardening when she heard the sound of a multitude of hoof beats. Someone, a very large someone, was headed toward the cave. Quickly, she jogged back to the cave to tell Lilac.   
  
When Lilac heard the news, she started to eat as many beans as possible, for they helped her flame. Penny always thought it funny that beans helped Lilac to produce flames.   
  
It was midday when the last of Caspian's entourage reached the cave. By that time, Caspian had had someone else set up a meeting tent, and someone else prepare the noon meal. Inside the tent, the royally fat Caspian was planning a surprise attack on Lilac. The other members of the Council (the stable boy and the Royal scribe) were trying to talk him out of a so obviously stupid plan.   
  
"But Sir, your grand entourage made such an appearance that the Dragon could not have missed it! Not to say that it was a bad idea… Sir." The stable boy mumbled timidly. The scribe's ink feather scratched at the parchment as the scribe took note of everything said. Finally, the Council came to a decision: they would sneak up to the cave when the first light of dawn graced the sky.   
  
***  
  
Penny waited impatiently in the cave for the first of the knights to arrive. She was just dozing off when… BOOM! BOOM! Caspian's loud and heavy footsteps thundered up the rock wall. Lilac crouched down into her hiding position and prepared to spit flame. The first head over the rim of the cave was Sir Charles. Instantly, he had no more hair, just a pile of singed stubble. The next group was a bunch of frightened knights, all of whom had met the dragon before. The all scrambled back down the cliff in a shower of pebbles when they caught sight of Lilac.   
  
Suddenly, Sir Charles madly yelled, "Prepare to die, you great purple beast!!!" then he charged, sword out thrust.   
  
Idly, Lilac directed a spurt of flame at him and said very placidly, "I don't think so!" Sir Charles stopped in his tracks and slumped to the ground, unconscious, a silly grin plastered onto his face. Penny scampered out into the front of the cave and dragged Sir Charles out of harms way.   
  
After what seemed like forever, but was really only 48 hours, Caspian finally made his appearance at the mouth of the Dragon's cave. Lilac had been napping, and when she heard Caspian's raspy panting (the Climb had thoroughly exerted him) she whipped her tail around so quickly, that it whapped Caspian on the shins and knocked him off balance so that he rolled back down the rock wall. Caspian descended the wall in record time, then went bouncing like a bouncy ball (because of the blubber) through his own camp. Such devastation had never been seen before this. By the time he got to the river, Caspian was so shaken up, he rolled straight into the river, with the encouragement of all those he had almost smushed!   
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, up in the cave, Penny was explaining to Sir Charles why she was in the Dragon's cave. "So, you see, I ran away from that monster," Penny told her story.  
  
"The Dragon? I thought you liked the Dragon." Sir Charles said. (his brains had been rattled)  
  
"No, no, no! Not the Dragon! Caspian, stupid! I hate that blob! Any way, I ran away in the middle of the night, and as I was running through a field ( smashing all the plants, mind you) the local peasants tried to capture me and bring me back to the blob for a reward. Then Lilac heard my calls of distress, and picked me up to carry me here. So here I am , and that's my story." As Penny finished her story, the stable boy came in.   
  
"Excuse me princess, but would you mind it if I told you that you were sent to our palace to marry me, not my bloated older brother!" the stable boy timidly said.  
  
"You're a Prince?! I knew something had gone wrong! My father never would have married me to a fat blob like Caspian purposely! This is great news!"   
  
"Yeah, after my father died, Caspian took over the throne and took you for his bride, but he couldn't be married because the next night you made your great escape!" the stable boy said sadly.  
  
" Wait a minute! You said you're a prince!" the Stable boy nodded, " Then why are you a stable boy? I'm really confused!" Penny asked, eyebrows knit together in a frown.  
  
"It's like a Cinderella story! I was forced to be the stable boy, a drudge, just like Cinderella was, except that I'm a prince by birth. By the way, my name's John. Now I guess it's King John." John added modestly.   
  
Then Lilac entered the conversation, "well, my future King and Queen, why don't you fly down to the Castle via Dragon back! And I guess Sir Charles can come too."   
  
"That's a great idea!" Penny, John and Sir Charles chorused together. So they all climbed on to Lilac's broad lavender back and flew out of the cave toward the castle with the cheers of the surviving entourage ringing in their ears.   
  
***  
  
John and Penny had a happy, peaceful rule with Sir Charles as their chief knight. Sir Charles led many expeditions to foreign lands to explore for the honor of the Royal Palace. Lilac resided in her cave for the rest of her numerous years, and for all I know, she could still be there, harboring another brave princess. But during the reign of John and Penny, all of their children spent at least a year with the lavender dragon. John and Penny had four Royal children in all, Jonathon and Joanna, who were twins, and Peter and Petra, who were also twins. In all, the whole family lived happily ever after (and there have been no more devastating events like the rolling Caspian)!   
  
A/N yeah…I got kind of bored listening to all the tales of the princess hating the dragon. I like Penny much better, not to mention Lilac! 


End file.
